MY THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE By: Patsy Weiser
Marriage is one of the greatest covenants established by God, but in our present society it is definitely under attack. It is reported that ½ of all marriages these days end in divorce. That is a staggering number. What is the problem, and what is the solution?
God’s purpose for marriage was to take a man and a woman, unite them together through a covenant with Him for life. I see that as one of the major problems in marriages today - God is being left out of the equation. Marriage definitely can be challenging at times, and without God as the center, it is almost impossible to survive. A three stranded cord is not easily broken. This could be said for all areas of our lives as well. We are created with a God-shaped void in our lives. Without His presence, we stumble around trying to manage life in our own strength. Approaching life in that way is a hit and miss situation.
We live in a day and age where people make promises or take oaths and they are only speaking empty words. Peoples’ word is no longer worth anything. Once upon a time, a person’s word was his bond. Not anymore - so committing to an “I do” means nothing at all to some people. Maybe an “I do” until something better comes along or a major problem presents itself - but not an “I do” no matter what, until I die! That is not saying that sometimes under certain circumstances a divorce is necessary. I am definitely not wanting to condemn anyone or pass judgment.
Which leads to another reason many marriage problems exist. Humans are all basically very selfish, self-centered creatures. This is something we have to work at not being. This “what about me and my feelings?” attitude creates lots of problems for married couples. We are not willing to give up our wants and desires for the benefit of the pair. Marriage cannot always be a 50-50 deal. Sometimes, depending on the circumstance, it will have to be more or less.
One of the best pieces of advise I got about marriage was on the day of my wedding from a dear, sweet, elderly gentleman. He said, “Marriage is not something you ever take for granted. You have to work at it everyday.” At the time I heard this in my love-stricken state, I could not imagine what he was talking about. However, his words have echoed in my mind many, many times since then. I have found his words to be very true. A good marriage does not just happen. It requires a concentrated effort on the part of both members. Anything worth having is worth working for.
A lot of couples quit dating after the wedding. Big mistake!! What charmed them to get them, will also help keep them. Here are a few suggestions to keep a marriage from getting dull and stale.
*Keep up your appearance - look your best for each other.
*Hug and kiss often.
*Don’t forget the little things - they often become the big things!
*Surprise each other.
*Schedule time for each other - make a date.
*Say “thank you” and “please”.
*Apologize, even if you think you are right - in five years it won’t
matter who was right or wrong. Pride can be a big hindrance.
*Never go to sleep angry at one another - resolve the issue first.
*You don’t always have to be right or prove your point.
*Share - even the chores.
*Laugh often - don’t be so serious.
*Be friends - have fun.
*Commit to making each other happy.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It can be heaven on earth if we will take our vows seriously, make God the center of our lives, and live together unselfishly. This will require a major effort on our part, but it will be worth it in the long run. We will establish a precedence for our children and grandchildren to follow. What a blessing to celebrate 25, 50 or possibly even 70 years of marriage. It is possible!